---
name: dating-coaching
description: Ben's dating/relationship coaching practice - offer structure and the reading list he gives clients. Read before any coaching, client or book-recommendation question.
sources: [cowork]
aliases: [coaching practice, 1:1 coaching, client coaching]
---

- [stated] Coaches individual high-net-worth men one-on-one on a monthly retainer (billed per month, not per call)
- [stated] Books he recommends to clients: No More Mr. Nice Guy, Sperm Wars, My Secret Garden, The Rational Male, Models, plus others
- [stated] His own stance with clients: teaches them not to take women too seriously
- [stated] Has a coaching framework called "Levels of the Game": four stages (Blue Pill / Nice Guy, Red Pill / Awake and Angry, White Pill, Clear Pill / Self Sourced), with need for approval as the thread running through them; its logo is a black and gold chess knight
- [stated] Runs a teaching module now called "The Basics" (previously "Fundamental Mindsets"); coined the "Father Frame" (being above her and warm; failure modes are below and warm, or above and cold) and calls sitting her down to address a behaviour a "Daddy moment"; its seven chapters are Attraction, Male Role, Female Nature, Tests, Healthy Dynamics, Frame, Boundaries (Daddy moments sit under Boundaries)
- [stated] Leads dating and relationships in the War Room, helping men improve in this area
- [stated] Teaches a six-stage relationship model he names "The Relationship Stages" (not "arc"): 1 Presentation and Selection (previously "Selection and Acquisition"; texting moved into Dating), 2 Dating (renamed from Courtship), 3 Bonding, 4 Shaping (he does not use the word "breaking"), 5 Maintenance, 6 Reset
- [stated] Runs a live event called "Pressure Chamber" (Prague, 29 Sep 2026) with a co-presenter he refers to as "CEO", who covers LTRs and children
- [stated] Also runs a briefings channel of hard hitting voice notes for the group, much of it aimed at nice guy syndrome
- [stated] App opener: compliment, ask "are you in Bangkok too?", then move to Instagram
- [stated] Uses "..?" as the follow up when left on read; unsure of best timing (mentors said 15 minutes, 4 hours, or a day); follows up only once
- [stated] First meets: at his building lobby or at the small mall next to his home, then a drink; declines restaurants on a first meet but sometimes compromises with very attractive women
- [stated] Post date routine adopted around Mar/Apr 2026 after learning from higher level coaches that he was too cold: orders her car, walks her down, kiss goodbye, "text me when you get home", "it was nice with you", messages next evening, then offers two days for the next meet
- [stated] Unsure how to respond when she says she is busy without offering a new day
- [stated] Theory he teaches: attraction bucket and comfort bucket; a high status man with other women must focus on comfort
- [stated] Friend Bayne (big on Twitter) wrote a book called "Layers" and teaches men to be briefly honest about their opinions on dates
- [stated] Maps his four "Levels of the Game" onto the competence ladder: blue pill unconsciously incompetent, red pill consciously incompetent, white pill consciously competent, clear pill unconsciously competent; metaphor: learn to drive the car instead of being angry at it