---
name: father
description: Ben's late father: the apartment Ben was born in, pizza delivery work, the dining table moment, Ben's regrets
sources: [chat]
aliases: [dad, my father, papa]
---
- [stated] Ben's father; died a few years ago
- [stated] Divorced Ben's mother when Ben was 3
- [stated] Lived until his death in the 3 room apartment where Ben was born; Ben lived in its cellar room for a few months in his 20s, just before his Philippines thesis
- [stated] Worked as a pizza delivery driver from his 40s into his 70s
- [stated] Had a weekly circle at the local market; many of them came to his funeral
- [stated] Taught Ben to stand tall (shoulders back, chest out) and to say "egal" when his mother got upset
- [stated] In Ben's late 20s or early 30s, at his dining table, his father cried out "why did you become this way?"; Ben pushed this memory away for years and wants to recall it fully
- [stated] Ben talked to him only every few weeks or less, gave him little money (one TV for Christmas), forgot his birthday, never had real talks with him; Ben deeply regrets this and wishes he had supported him and brought him to Bangkok
- [stated] Kept his home, office and two basements full of collected things, mostly clothes; Ben cleared almost all of it after his death
- [stated] Once asked Ben to shave his back; Ben did it once and refused the second time, and now sees that as a loveless moment he blames himself for